So you wonder why they stare at you.

Tonight it's 8 rakaat Tarawih and 1 rakaat Witir like yesterday. At least that's usual. This is not a usual post. Something just crossed my mind and I would be God-damned if I don't voice it.

To those of you who found peace here in Germany, primarily, or any where else in the world, sufficient enough to make you prefer a foreign land to your own country, let me remind you that it's plastic. Why am I bringing this up. Well, first of all, I know quite a number of Malaysians who whole-heartedly embrace the above idea, whether by way of being blind to reality or by way of denying it. Secondly, I ran pass some self-righteous Germans on the way back, complaining aloud about how I use the wrong side of the road (upstream). I don't blame them. Maybe they've just experienced something bad, maybe they were shocked. In fact, I apologized. Thirdly, when I got into my room, I saw the Malaysian flag on my table, what I usually, idly see, but this time with some sense to it. So I thought: This is the flag that would shelter you when you need shelter the most, when others of different origin deny you from any form of allegiances. This is the flag that represents constitutions that protect you unconditionally, constitutions uphold by those who affiliate to you. The flag that you could count on, even if it couldn't count on a majority of its own people. I am of course seeing it in a collective manner.

So why are we whining all the time? Why do we point fingers? Is it not due to our own incompetency that we have to look to other nations out there to point us to the right direction? Is it not our own tendency to hate our own kind or take advantage of them that lead us to associating ourselves with our enemies or blatantly speaking; the invading forces of the whites? So I am being racist. But you know what? I couldn't help it after going through several bitterly experiences of racism here. So those racists bastards think that somehow we are of something lesser. How can that be when we know more than them!? How can that be when we earn more than them!?

Sadly, collectively, that's just a dream now. Malaysians who never thought of this or like this think they don't have to answer to future generations. At least when they decide to be idle. That's why their lives are too damn simple.

I am not like them, and I would be God-damned if one day I become one of them. I need to know more and earn more than those self-righteous white supremacist bastards. God send them all to hell. Amen.